You’re on Mute

(lips moving but no sound being heard) “You’re on mute.” If you have spent any time on a Zoom video meeting or call recently, you have probably heard what has become this catchphrase of the year: “you’re on mute.”

As we have tried to learn and familiarize ourselves with this video conferencing technology, it has become common practice for people to put themselves on mute so others who are on the call don’t hear the kid screaming, the dog barking or other distracting background noise. Inevitably, we then start speaking, forgetting that we are still on mute and others cannot hear what we have to say. Others will see our lips moving but not able to hear us and give us a reminder saying, “you’re on mute.”

With “you’re on mute” becoming the catchphrase of the year, it is fitting that Pope Francis just named this year, the Year of Saint Joseph. After all, Saint Joseph is the person who didn’t utter a single word in the Bible. From the perspective of us reading the Bible today, Saint Joseph lived his entire life as if he were on mute. Some of the ladies might hear this, take one look at their husband and wish the “mute” button on the remote worked for more than just the TV.

While Joseph didn’t talk the talk from a biblical perspective, he certainly walked the walk. We hear in today’s Gospel reading that he walked the walk as he and Mary took baby Jesus to the temple to offer their baby boy to God. Joseph also walked the walk as he led Mary and little Jesus to safety in Egypt and then when it was safe to return back to Jerusalem to make their home there.

It was in this home, that Jesus learned how to love. It wasn’t so much from listening to the words spoken by the high priests or religious scholars that Jesus learned, no, it was from watching Joseph and Mary in this home that Jesus was filled with wisdom and learned mercy, compassion, how to sacrifice, and how to serve. I believe this is where Jesus learned to eat with tax collectors and sinners and where Jesus learned to tie an apron around his waist and wash the feet of his disciples.

Joseph knew that talk is cheap, but actions are priceless. Joseph knew that what we have to say out loud to others is not as important as how we bring the Word made flesh into our families and out into the world for others to experience through the way we live our lives. Within the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, there was not an internal power struggle, there was no competition. Instead, there was cooperation. Everyone in the Holy Family knew their role and they lived out their role fully. Joseph cooperated with Jesus and Mary in the salvation of the world and we are called to do the same.

Looking at Joseph as the model for living as if we were on mute is instructive to each of us as we strive to live out our lives as members of a holy family. For what good is it to speak the words “I love you” out loud to a family member, if we don’t let them have the last piece of cake? What good is it to say “I love you” to the baby or aging loved one we care for, if we can’t change a dirty diaper every now and again? What good is it for us to say to Jesus when there is no room for him in the Inn the words “I love you”, if we don’t open our mouths, our hearts, and our lives for him to make his home in us? And what good is it to say to God, “I love you,” if we don’t make time to come to visit God in God’s house either in-person, via live stream or spiritually?

What has stayed with me throughout the years is not something my parents said, but instead what has been the most impactful in my life is what they did with taking me and my brothers to God’s house on the weekends. On Sunday mornings, when my two brothers and I were growing up, my Dad would put on his trench coat, my brothers and I would put on our little trench coats, and we would all get in the car along with my mother to go to Church. My father taught me everything about how to be a man, especially that a big part of being a man is going with family to church on the weekend and to put God first among all life’s priorities.

I heard my Dad tell the story once about my younger brother, Steve’s birth. My Mom’s due date was quickly approaching and all of a sudden something went terribly wrong. The umbilical cord got wrapped around my baby brother’s neck and was choking him, cutting off the oxygen to his brain. My Mom had to be rushed to the hospital. When they arrived at the hospital they wheeled my Mom into surgery for an emergency C-section and things weren’t looking good for my baby brother’s chances of making it. My Dad went to the hospital chapel to kneel before God and he asked God for a miracle. I don’t know exactly what my Dad said to God in the silence of his heart on that day in the chapel, but I think it was one of those “God, if you do this for me, I will do whatever you want me to do for the rest of my life” type of moments. That’s the type of action families need to become holy. There is nothing more powerful for children with regard to passing on the values of faith than seeing their father on his knees praying before God.

Now, of course, this doesn’t guarantee anything, but it plants the seeds and makes it more likely. Research shows that one of the greatest factors determining a child’s future practice of the faith is the role of the father. Two researchers named Haug and Warner studied the passing on of faith from one generation to another. They found that of children who grew up in a household where the mother attended church regularly but the father did not, only two percent of those children would attend church regularly when they became adults. The same study found that of children who grew up in a household where the opposite was true, where the father attended church regularly, but the mother did not, 44% of those children attended church regularly when they became adults. Being a man, a husband, and being a father is about far more than the image of a man-boy our secular culture offers us.

So, when we look at the members of our family, do we see reflected back at us how Jesus loves us? If not, do we pray for Jesus to soften and open the hearts of our family members? And when our family members look at us, do they see reflected back at them the way Jesus loves them? If not, do the words we speak to God in the silence of our hearts and the actions we do welcome Jesus more fully into our hearts, minds, and lives?

These questions are the true test of a holy family. Day after day, Joseph passed this test. He inspires us, gives us an example to imitate, and he is someone we can ask to pray for us so that we may pass this test as well.

If the words we speak out loud were never heard and all that was known of our lives were the words we speak in the silence of our hearts and the walk we walk, would our lives look holy like that of a saint? Now is the time for each of us to answer this question, but before you respond, remember, “you’re on mute.”

Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph in Christmas Cycle B – December 27, 2020
Mass Readings:

Reading 1: SIR 3:2-6, 12-14
Psalm: PS 128:1-2, 3, 4-5.
Reading 2: COL 3:12-21
Gospel: LK 2:22-40

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